Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
two words...techno handjob
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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