so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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