if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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