He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
