Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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