I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
