Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
