I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
