I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I still have a little drunk in my system
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
