we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
