the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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