Buhtt sex?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
