they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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