So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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