i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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