HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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