He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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