Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
