someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i love accidental penises.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
