...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
