True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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