Having a random hookup so left but love u
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
