just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
