He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My pussy is not your playground.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
