There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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