I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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