I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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