Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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