living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
