to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
