so explain again why im purple
no
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
