This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
