i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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