walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
