We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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