I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
