it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
