when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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