walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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