Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
