My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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