I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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