how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
