I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
