so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We need a shit load of segways right now
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
