therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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