He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
