I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
