she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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