Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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