If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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