There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
