i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
