Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm always down for nudity.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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