Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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