Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
