I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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