True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
