Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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