I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
