I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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