we're blogging at a bar
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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