? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
