there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
